Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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