please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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