Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
