I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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