U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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