Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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