new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Just cropdusted the office
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
The power of my boobs compel you
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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