What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
