But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
