this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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