the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
