You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
