So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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