Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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