I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i just google imaged poop.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
