you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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