If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Having a random hookup so left but love u
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
