this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
