Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
