see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm just crazy horny about you
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Randomize
