1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
