This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
