He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
