NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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