somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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