My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
