He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
