how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
