Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
