Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
