But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
