Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
