so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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