tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
