im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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