I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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