I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
