There is too much vodka and too much dick.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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