dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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