your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
