New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
