I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
