I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
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