As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
