My hair reeks of homosexuality.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
