i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize