forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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