I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize