Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
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