So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
