I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
