be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
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