Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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