no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
