We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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