THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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