Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
