I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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