You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I need a beard to bite.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
