Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
