His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
