I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
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