Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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